As I look back over the years and contemplate the ups and downs of motherhood, I am more and more convinced that what really matters in the long run is the quality of the relationship I enjoy with my sons. Even if I don't always say the right thing in exactly the right way, it helps tremendously for them to know I love them, I like them, and I truly have their best interests in view when we discusss this or when I say "no" to that. I must regularly check in with them and see how we're doing. When I mess up, the faster I apologize the better it goes. It's amazing how sensitive a teenage boy can be. I have come to realize they are young men - my boys! - and they are growing daily into their roles as future husbands and fathers, Lord willing.
O Christian mother, your babies may be young now, but they won't be for long. Cherish the moments you have with them. Step back and realize you are their primary model for behavior, both righteous and unrighteous. The teachable moments come fast and furiously, and you may be overwhelmed and exhausted A LOT. But take care to protect and nurture your relationship with each child.
One of my biggest regrets is that I have often allowed myself an irritated and impatient manner of speaking to my boys. If I am tired, running late, not feeling well, I just let them have it. Afterward have come the shame and the apologies. I have felt like such a failure and have bought book after book, searching for the magic bullet to fix myself. I realize now I should have spent more time in the Book of Books and with its gracious Author. Romans 12:2 really is true: "Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind" - only God's word can accomplish this.
May I encourage you today to watch your tone with your babies? Your voice should be a source of blessing and assurance. "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness," we read in Proverbs 31:26. I used to hate the Proverbs 31 woman, but I realize now that was just foolishness. She is my Biblical example and I have learned to embrace her and love her. I have a LONG way to go to be anything like her, but I am working on it. Join me, won't you, and don't forget to practice kindness when you speak to yourself as well. We can replace those old bad habits with new ones that will strengthen our relationships with our children, day by day. It just takes mindful attention and perseverance. We can do this, with our Lord's help, and we must do it.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Fight Back When Sickness Beats Up the Schedule
If your family is like mine, you have experienced your fair share of sickness already this winter. Sickness tends to put the daily schedule into the tank, even if some of the family is still well. The past few weeks have been quite rough around here, and everyone is still in some form of dis-ease. What to do? My instinct is to crawl under my snuggly blankets and hide, but I dare not as the piles are mounting around me: piles of paper, piles of laundry, piles of dishes, piles of piles!
One of the tendencies I have when sick or well is to focus on only one task for an excessive amount of time, while everything else falls into ruin. Enter my version of FlyLady's Crisis Cleaning technique (http://flylady.net/pages/FLYingLessons_CrisisCleaning.asp). Gather three simple tools: a piece of paper, a pencil, and a timer. Fold the paper in half; fold that half in half; and fold that half in half again. Unfold the paper and you will have eight equal boxes in which to write tasks. If eight seems like too many, stop at four. (You can always turn the paper over when you finish and you will have four new blanks.)
Now think about what is screaming for your attention. Write one chore (or even the name of a room) in each box. Now set your timer for fifteen minutes and tackle what is in the first box. When the timer goes off, go on to the next box, even if you aren't finished with the first box. (Who ever finishes laundry anyway?) After three boxes have been given attention for fifteen minutes each, use the next block of time to take a break.
Now one hour has gone by, you've just had a break, and hopefully you should be refreshed to begin the next box. When you finish the first page of boxes, you can start again at the first box or you can flip your paper over and add new chores in the blanks on the back.
Here are my boxes' labels for today: Read Bible; Laundry; Dishes; Shower; Sweep Floors; Help with Algebra; Work on Financial Aid Forms; Plan Menu. Changing tasks when the timer goes off is key for me. I also have to use the timer whenever I get on the computer or pick up the phone. Sometimes I set it for only ten minutes or extend it to twenty minutes, but fifteen minutes is FlyLady's magic number (http://flylady.net/pages/FlyShop_UTimer.asp), as in "You can do ANYTHING for fifteen minutes!"
When the day is done, feel free to throw your paper away, or save it for tomorrow. Do what you can, and get the kids involved, especially if you feel under the weather. When you all do a little, it makes a huge difference. Your children will thank you one day for giving them the tools they need to lead a simple, organized, contented life. Thank you, dear Lord, for health and strength to do what we can for even fifteen minutes.
One of the tendencies I have when sick or well is to focus on only one task for an excessive amount of time, while everything else falls into ruin. Enter my version of FlyLady's Crisis Cleaning technique (http://flylady.net/pages/FLYingLessons_CrisisCleaning.asp). Gather three simple tools: a piece of paper, a pencil, and a timer. Fold the paper in half; fold that half in half; and fold that half in half again. Unfold the paper and you will have eight equal boxes in which to write tasks. If eight seems like too many, stop at four. (You can always turn the paper over when you finish and you will have four new blanks.)
Now think about what is screaming for your attention. Write one chore (or even the name of a room) in each box. Now set your timer for fifteen minutes and tackle what is in the first box. When the timer goes off, go on to the next box, even if you aren't finished with the first box. (Who ever finishes laundry anyway?) After three boxes have been given attention for fifteen minutes each, use the next block of time to take a break.
Now one hour has gone by, you've just had a break, and hopefully you should be refreshed to begin the next box. When you finish the first page of boxes, you can start again at the first box or you can flip your paper over and add new chores in the blanks on the back.
Here are my boxes' labels for today: Read Bible; Laundry; Dishes; Shower; Sweep Floors; Help with Algebra; Work on Financial Aid Forms; Plan Menu. Changing tasks when the timer goes off is key for me. I also have to use the timer whenever I get on the computer or pick up the phone. Sometimes I set it for only ten minutes or extend it to twenty minutes, but fifteen minutes is FlyLady's magic number (http://flylady.net/pages/FlyShop_UTimer.asp), as in "You can do ANYTHING for fifteen minutes!"
When the day is done, feel free to throw your paper away, or save it for tomorrow. Do what you can, and get the kids involved, especially if you feel under the weather. When you all do a little, it makes a huge difference. Your children will thank you one day for giving them the tools they need to lead a simple, organized, contented life. Thank you, dear Lord, for health and strength to do what we can for even fifteen minutes.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Read Through the Bible This Year
There is only one God, and He wrote only one book. Have you read it yet? Let's purpose in our hearts to be in God's word every day, all year long. There are many Bible reading plans out there. Here are a couple of links to help you find a plan: http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/readingplans/index.php/today?plan=1&version=9
This link even has a "Listen" button! You can listen to God's word while you work! http://www.ewordtoday.com/year/kjv/ojan01.htm
This link even has a "Listen" button! You can listen to God's word while you work! http://www.ewordtoday.com/year/kjv/ojan01.htm
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| King James Bible Happy 400th Birthday! |
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy 2011!
Do you know today's date is 1/1/11? I don't think there is anything significant about that, but it's neat to notice. The beginning of a new year is always a good time to reflect on where you've been, where you are, and where you want to go. What went right last year? What marked a low point? Take a few moments to write down your thoughts and plans. These don't have to be full-fledged resolutions, but if you don't write them down, you are likely to forget them. Also, if you have a specific goal, now is the time to flesh out an action plan. Do you want to lose 30 pounds? By when? If you say, I want to lose 30 pounds by June 30, you now have an achievable smaller goal of losing five pounds a month. Think of the different facets of your life: your spiritual condition, your role as a wife, your role as a mother, daughter, sister in Christ...the list could go on. Are your relationships in order? Do you need to forgive anyone? Did you read through the Bible in 2010? I have a brand new Bible reading notebook in which I am writing down names, events, and anything I else I want to remember from my daily reading. It is my prayer that we all have a blessed 2011, and that we bring more glory and honour to our Saviour than we did last year, and that we share the gospel with more lost people, particularly those in our own families. I know I must work at keeping eternal things in the forefront of my thinking; how about you? Happy New Year, dear Christian friends!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Reading Aloud Is Right
Some of the very best homeschooling moments with my boys involved reading great books aloud to them. I did most of the reading and I still remember how they would beg for "just one more chapter." Our favorite books came from the Sonlight Curriculum catalog; every one we read together was a winner. I remember in particular Carry On, Mr. Bowditch; Moccasin Trail; and Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry. These novels appealed greatly to my boys, who were about 13 and 10 at the time. The stories totally captivated all of us, so the history lessons and character-building were painless! Sharing a great story and its frames of reference together is one of those relationship-building activities that makes homeschooling a precious blessing. Looking back over the years, our read-aloud times comprise some of our sweetest memories.
If you need any ideas about which books to read at what age, the Sonlight Curriculum catalog is the way to go. Click on the Sonlight banner to go to their website and order a free catalog. You won't be sorry!!
If you need any ideas about which books to read at what age, the Sonlight Curriculum catalog is the way to go. Click on the Sonlight banner to go to their website and order a free catalog. You won't be sorry!!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Are You Sidetracked? Learn to Fly!
Were you born organized, or are you like I am – perennially sidetracked? I really struggle with organization, but I am so much better than I used to be because of my very favorite website on organization: www.flylady.net. Marla Cilley, the FlyLady, is your online coach to help you overcome CHAOS (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome). FlyLady will help you get your home in order, but she will do much more than that – she will change the conversation going on in your head! I no longer beat myself up constantly when things go awry or get messy. Instead, knowing I can do ANYTHING for fifteen minutes, I set my timer and move forward. I hope you will find that FlyLady is as much a help to you as she has been to me since 2001. She has lots of great features and helpful cleaning products on her totally-free site. I especially enjoy using the "Rubba" tools; they work great and are very affordable. FlyLady TV is new. It is so energizing to be able to see FlyLady and hear her talk to me! FlyLady will change the way you look at housework, I promise!
Write It Down
One of the most helpful things you can do to become an more efficient wife and mother is to keep a notebook and pen or pencil handy. When something important pops into your head, write it down!! I know this seems ridiculously obvious, but sometimes we multi-tasking moms need a little reminder. In your busy world, you may be interrupted at any moment and that important task or great idea may be lost if you don't record it NOW! Use a simple spiral-bound notebook or a small 3-ring binder with plain loose leaf (that's notebook paper for you young ones). A dry erase board hung in your kitchen is also handy for those ideas you get while cooking or cleaning. Don't laugh, but having something to write on in the bathroom isn't a bad idea, either. I seem to remember important things in there!
If you happen to be on your computer, you can keep a running "To Do/Ideas" list in a Word document (or Wordpad, or whatever you have). Just click and record, and then don't forget to look back at your list! Don't get obsessed with the list itself - it does NOT need to be neat, alphabetized, or color-coordinated!
My DH asks very little of me, so I try to write down any specific request(s) he makes and then make that request a priority of my day. Again, do not forget to check your list often (at mealtimes or when you come out of the restroom, for example). When you have done that task or followed up on that idea, you will feel so good when you check it off!! Write It Down!
If you happen to be on your computer, you can keep a running "To Do/Ideas" list in a Word document (or Wordpad, or whatever you have). Just click and record, and then don't forget to look back at your list! Don't get obsessed with the list itself - it does NOT need to be neat, alphabetized, or color-coordinated!
My DH asks very little of me, so I try to write down any specific request(s) he makes and then make that request a priority of my day. Again, do not forget to check your list often (at mealtimes or when you come out of the restroom, for example). When you have done that task or followed up on that idea, you will feel so good when you check it off!! Write It Down!
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