Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Relationship Is King

As I look back over the years and contemplate the ups and downs of motherhood, I am more and more convinced that what really matters in the long run is the quality of the relationship I enjoy with my sons.  Even if I don't always say the right thing in exactly the right way, it helps tremendously for them to know I love them, I like them, and I truly have their best interests in view when we discusss this or when I say "no" to that.  I must regularly check in with them and see how we're doing.  When I mess up, the faster I apologize the better it goes.  It's amazing how sensitive a teenage boy can be.  I have come to realize they are young men - my boys! - and they are growing daily into their roles as future husbands and fathers, Lord willing.

O Christian mother, your babies may be young now, but they won't be for long.  Cherish the moments you have with them.  Step back and realize you are their primary model for behavior, both righteous and unrighteous.  The teachable moments come fast and furiously, and you may be overwhelmed and exhausted A LOT.  But take care to protect and nurture your relationship with each child. 

One of my biggest regrets is that I have often allowed myself an irritated and impatient manner of speaking to my boys.  If I am tired, running late, not feeling well, I just let them have it.  Afterward have come the shame and the apologies.  I have felt like such a failure and have bought book after book, searching for the magic bullet to fix myself.  I realize now I should have spent more time in the Book of Books and with its gracious Author.  Romans 12:2 really is true: "Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind" - only God's word can accomplish this.

May I encourage you today to watch your tone with your babies?  Your voice should be a source of blessing and assurance.  "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness," we read in Proverbs 31:26.  I used to hate the Proverbs 31 woman, but I realize now that was just foolishness.  She is my Biblical example and I have learned to embrace her and love her.  I have a LONG way to go to be anything like her, but I am working on it.  Join me, won't you, and don't forget to practice kindness when you speak to yourself as well.  We can replace those old bad habits with new ones that will strengthen our relationships with our children, day by day.  It just takes mindful attention and perseverance.  We can do this, with our Lord's help, and we must do it.


  1. I completely lived this today! :( Tomorrow's another day when I will try again (and again...and again...) Thankyou! :)

  2. Thank the Lord His mercies are new every morning! Thanks for reading and for taking the time to comment. Enjoy your babies!